Today is February 13th, and its been a long time since I have sat down to write.  A lot has happened in the past few months.  At my last writing, I was a new grandpa, so very proud.  I am still so very proud....just a lot has happpened.

After five short weeks, Max became an angel.  His time here on earth was very short, but he accomplished so much in such short a time.  He will forever be in my heart and on my mind.  Not a day goes by without me thinking of him and wishing he was here.  My pain is so real....but compares nothing to the pain of Kris & Carly.  I am in a helpless state....I have always tried to shelter Kris from pain & do anything to take it away, but this pain is his...I cant take it away.

Max is buried in an infant area of the cemetary, where you can keep up decorations all year round without the fear of them being taken down or mowed over.  His little grave has a beautiful dinosaur headstone, along with a hand made wreath that we decorate for the season.  Cold, stiff stuff animals surround him and a squashed down snow path makes way to the graveside...just showing how many visitors he gets.  I know he's not there...but still go there to talk to him.  He is in my every day life, knowing that he is my angel, watching over me.

The holidays were rough...one consolation was that we had the flue over Christmas, so didn't have to see anyone.

Just before Christmas, Trevor's company, Red Lion Hotels, re-org'd him out of a job.  So, he's been on the job hunt. 

Between this, Max, the holidays and the prospect of turning 45 later in the month, my emotions have been high and trying to reevaluate life in general.  I feel like a lost soul lately, so something needs to change.

I have taken up running, after about 25 years.  Hasnt been too great on my ankles & shins, but my spirits are higher than they have been in a long time.  Im really enjoying the group I run with and how everyone is so very supportive. 

This spring should be busy...lots going on.  Once the snow goes away & the ground thaw's, I need to put in a fence around the back year, to keep the dogs in.  Stoli got really sick last fall from eating deer poop...so we are going to take care of that one!  Hopefully this gives me a better area to landscape also....so it doesnt seem so ominous.  I am planning on doing some sprinklers in both the front and back and will be planting some seedling christmas trees in the front.  I will have plenty to do with Mom's front & back yard too...

Well, back to work....